After sneakily forcing my mother to buy me the new, and quite overly-priced, Porter (Fall edition) magazine, I stumbled across the fiftieth piece covering Lagerfeld and his celebratory 50 years as the creative director of Fendi. The octogenarian is quoted to have a “timeless modern appeal” but I worry that too many years designing has caused him to be misinformed about the qualities of a modern woman?

Now, firstly, I want to clarify that I am in no way suggesting I know more about fashion or women’s appeal than Karl himself, having been the creative director of Fendi and Chanel, plus his own household name – except, a quote by the man himself actually startled and paused my open-minded outlook and made me instantly jump to write this blog piece.

(Page 103) of Porter magazine:

“Don’t be a victim. You can be sweet and nice, but don’t be weak. Otherwise you become a stupid victim. I prefer toughness to girlieness. The Fendi woman is strong and modern, she is no romantic.” – Karl Lagerfeld

I would like to suggest that I believe the fashion God himself, is incorrect. What resonates most strongly in the quotation, for me, is how he too simply dismisses the very idea that a strong and modern woman could ever be romantic. I guess the very same question Carrie Bradshaw asks in one of her Sex columns, “Has feminism killed romance?” in the 1994 series has come back around 21 years later with strong modern connotations.

Being a feminist myself, and even recently turning down a high-salary job in Dubai due to the country’s lack of women’s rights, I would beg to differ with both Lagerfeld and Bradshaw, and suggest that feminism would never kill romance, because feminism hasn’t changed femininity.

When a woman becomes a mother, she instantly goes from being her own person to her own person plus the child – she adapts and develops into a two-sided coin – needing to be herself, plus the brain of another human. In theory, the mother becomes alpha. Whenever a woman is offered a high-paying job or senior position, she is then in charge of the many numerous men and women below her – again, in practicality, she is alpha. The same goes for women in leadership positions worldwide – from care-workers to fashion designers – no matter what her career or lifestyle, she is alpha of her own destiny. Do those women, celebrating their own personal successes, not deserve romance? Instead they must be strong and modern, but “never ever be romantic”?

That makes it seem like a woman must choose by ultimatum, like the Genie asks you from Aladdin, except you get only one wish out of two choices;

So – what’s it gonna be Al, huh? Love or Money?

Why can’t it be both?

Because modernity says so.

If that’s the case, I’m not so sure I want to be a modern woman. See – I’m a sucker for love stories, hearing about first dates, chivalry, love songs, poetry, opera, musicals, ballet – the whole traditional ‘love’ scene, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t look for love myself. In fact, I think that’s what makes me a modern woman – unlike in the olden days (as I’ve come to know through films), women are proactively taking that leap of faith and searching for love themselves. Whether it be through dating sites, or making wedding proposals, or being the breadwinner of the family – they aren’t waiting anymore for a guy to approach them whilst they are sat alone at a bar, nor are they expecting the man to do so. Surely the “strength” and “toughness” of a woman in love nowadays is the same very essence that makes her “modern” in the first place.

I can only imagine the amount of broken hearts my readers have experienced, or the shabby first dates, or the nerve-racking “taking him home to your family only for them not to like him” – but, believe me when I say that doesn’t make you a “stupid victim” – it merely makes you a woman. And what Lagerfeld is doing is stripping a woman of all her feminine-like qualities and reducing her to a level unfathomable to any person who actually wants love in their life, and to be loved.

Of all the things to fall ‘victim’ to in today’s increasingly feeble world, being a ‘victim’ of love doesn’t make you any less of a modern woman, in fact it makes you more. Because, every single day you wake up feeling like it’s the end of the world, you’re fifty times stronger than any other woman who has never taken that romantic leap in the first place.

I am girly, but I am strong and modern, and what’s more – I’m proud to say I am a romantic. Does that not make me a Fendi woman, Karl? Then so be it. 

My Not So Fair Lady xox