Nov

Sadomasochist’s of Love 2: A Contradiction

The same reason I love train journeys happens to be the same reason I resent them. Staring out at the English countryside resonates feelings of imminent alienation from the norm of the hustle and bustle of city life.

After spending a hefty ten days in the North at my family home, I have finally rested and recovered from my pain-inducing writer’s block (or so I hope!)

Although you’re reading this post typed, it was actually written traditionally with pen and paper as I always find that ink has a weird way of opening your minds and freeing your emotions – far easier than staring at a backlit screen.

I revelled in some great feedback regarding my first post on whether we are sadomasochists of love and as many of you agreed, we are leaning that way. Now I wanted to add to my initial thoughts as a way of comprehending recent developments and in hope of putting any current negativity to bed – once and for all.

A friend of mine always creates a game out of my posts and tries to guess who each piece is aimed toward; but, I wanted to make it clear that although my work is placed on life experience, this is a neutral post about coping no more.

I sit here and wonder how many times the words “I can’t do this anymore” have been relayed to me. And how many occasions my heart has seemed to collapse into my stomach. Any of you will know the sick feeling you get when you hopelessly can do no more. This emotion can be explained by a sense of pain but in actual fact, the pain which has ensued is coming to an end. You’re saving yourself from the inevitable. It’s an act of emotional survival not self-deprecation.

I’m always cursed with being called “heartless”, “cold”, and “uncaring” but anyone who truly knows me will see that a facade can make you believe a 1000-wrong things – after all, your wall is there for a reason. I am in actual fact (and this is hard to admit), the biggest worrier out of al my friends. Someone will say something and I’ll still be dwelling over it weeks later – another form of Sadomasochism.

One of my flaws however is definitely my inability to not carry baggage. Over a recent family dispute, my parents shouted, “If you have a problem in your personal life – although you don’t talk about it, everyone will know!” Not only does this show how easily I feel pain but also how ready I am to accept and hone that pain for longer than needs necessary.

But I want to contradict my previous argument and state that if we were all sadomasochists of love, we wouldn’t ever reach the conclusion that enough may actually be enough. A rational voice of maturity steps in at some point and states the deadly words “I can’t do this anymore” (we’re all guilty of saying it!). Maybe we shouldn’t feel guilty but empowered as although initialy life feels tough, you’re protecting yourself and your emotions from any longterm pain.

The amount of times recently I’ve heard myself say – “Yeah but what if we’re supposed to be together”, “what if it’s our only chance?” Rule number 1 of letting go – stop the what if’s – because if it was supposed to work out, it should have. You’re just becoming a slave to the chaos and accepting familiar grief over new and changing alone-ness (note: NOT loneliness).

I think the hardest part to letting go is the case of forgetting familiarity and actually you crave the pain far easier than accepting the change. This is a weak characteristic of human nature. One which should be eradicated instead of championed through Hollywood romance – news flash, you don’t wallow in self pity then remarkably become okay and the love of your life finds you again (… unless you’re lucky).

In Italy, on my travels this summer, I met a New York – Italian named Alfie and a guy from Napoli called Pepe. They were chalk and cheese but the uniting factor of their friendship was their ability to spot drama 100 miles away and run in the opposite direction. Pepe had recently left his wife and moved from their relatively new family home in Paris back to find his heart in Naples. One evening, over too many cocktails and hash in Shanti Musik Bar (Naples), he said to me:

“I love that woman (his wife) with all my heart but my heart itself is too precious to be with one person so instead it lies with every single person who lives here in Naples. Naples is my heart.”

A location doesn’t have to be your heart, but your heart needs a purpose to live longer, laugh harder and love more (or again).

Alfie on the other hand was just the right amount of beautiful to make you turn pink and the right amount of charming to make your heart melt. At 42, he showed the youth and vitality of a schoolboy in “love” for the first time. He told me,

“Your stare is too powerful to be bothered by love, isn’t it? You’ve got too much going on behind your eyes to be tied down. You probably won’t understand this yet, but you will.”

Alfie had never given his heart to anyone, he refused to allow any person the right to dictate his life. Trading in love for sex doesn’t always seem right but if his smile was fake, he sure fooled me.

Alfie and Pepe were perhaps two of the most special and inspiring people I will ever meet and even if our time together was brief, their words will be imprinted on my memory forever.

I don’t know how I feel in this current moment leaving yet another “love” behind but I know how I want to feel and that’s happy and empowered. You can’t blame yourself for things going wrong and you can’t punish yourself with wild emotions. It’s all too easy to fall into a life of pain without someone physically putting you there. And what’s more, there’s too much pressure on us to fall in love with somebody else – why not fall in love with yourself first? –

How fabulous would it be to give Samantha Jones’ line of –

“I love you. I just love me more”

Instead of the old, “I can’t do this anymore”.

If we were all sadomasochists of love, we’d never let go of things not right for us and then there’d be no one worth aspiring to. Life is the greatest lesson of all and right now, I’m going to make the love and pain wait.

Aug

Is Lagerfeld misinformed about the modern woman?

After sneakily forcing my mother to buy me the new, and quite overly-priced, Porter (Fall edition) magazine, I stumbled across the fiftieth piece covering Lagerfeld and his celebratory 50 years as the creative director of Fendi. The octogenarian is quoted to have a “timeless modern appeal” but I worry that too many years designing has caused him to be misinformed about the qualities of a modern woman?

Now, firstly, I want to clarify that I am in no way suggesting I know more about fashion or women’s appeal than Karl himself, having been the creative director of Fendi and Chanel, plus his own household name – except, a quote by the man himself actually startled and paused my open-minded outlook and made me instantly jump to write this blog piece.

(Page 103) of Porter magazine:

“Don’t be a victim. You can be sweet and nice, but don’t be weak. Otherwise you become a stupid victim. I prefer toughness to girlieness. The Fendi woman is strong and modern, she is no romantic.” – Karl Lagerfeld

I would like to suggest that I believe the fashion God himself, is incorrect. What resonates most strongly in the quotation, for me, is how he too simply dismisses the very idea that a strong and modern woman could ever be romantic. I guess the very same question Carrie Bradshaw asks in one of her Sex columns, “Has feminism killed romance?” in the 1994 series has come back around 21 years later with strong modern connotations.

Being a feminist myself, and even recently turning down a high-salary job in Dubai due to the country’s lack of women’s rights, I would beg to differ with both Lagerfeld and Bradshaw, and suggest that feminism would never kill romance, because feminism hasn’t changed femininity.

When a woman becomes a mother, she instantly goes from being her own person to her own person plus the child – she adapts and develops into a two-sided coin – needing to be herself, plus the brain of another human. In theory, the mother becomes alpha. Whenever a woman is offered a high-paying job or senior position, she is then in charge of the many numerous men and women below her – again, in practicality, she is alpha. The same goes for women in leadership positions worldwide – from care-workers to fashion designers – no matter what her career or lifestyle, she is alpha of her own destiny. Do those women, celebrating their own personal successes, not deserve romance? Instead they must be strong and modern, but “never ever be romantic”?

That makes it seem like a woman must choose by ultimatum, like the Genie asks you from Aladdin, except you get only one wish out of two choices;

So – what’s it gonna be Al, huh? Love or Money?

Why can’t it be both?

Because modernity says so.

If that’s the case, I’m not so sure I want to be a modern woman. See – I’m a sucker for love stories, hearing about first dates, chivalry, love songs, poetry, opera, musicals, ballet – the whole traditional ‘love’ scene, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t look for love myself. In fact, I think that’s what makes me a modern woman – unlike in the olden days (as I’ve come to know through films), women are proactively taking that leap of faith and searching for love themselves. Whether it be through dating sites, or making wedding proposals, or being the breadwinner of the family – they aren’t waiting anymore for a guy to approach them whilst they are sat alone at a bar, nor are they expecting the man to do so. Surely the “strength” and “toughness” of a woman in love nowadays is the same very essence that makes her “modern” in the first place.

I can only imagine the amount of broken hearts my readers have experienced, or the shabby first dates, or the nerve-racking “taking him home to your family only for them not to like him” – but, believe me when I say that doesn’t make you a “stupid victim” – it merely makes you a woman. And what Lagerfeld is doing is stripping a woman of all her feminine-like qualities and reducing her to a level unfathomable to any person who actually wants love in their life, and to be loved.

Of all the things to fall ‘victim’ to in today’s increasingly feeble world, being a ‘victim’ of love doesn’t make you any less of a modern woman, in fact it makes you more. Because, every single day you wake up feeling like it’s the end of the world, you’re fifty times stronger than any other woman who has never taken that romantic leap in the first place.

I am girly, but I am strong and modern, and what’s more – I’m proud to say I am a romantic. Does that not make me a Fendi woman, Karl? Then so be it.

My Not So Fair Lady xox

Mar

There’s nothing I LOVE more than Alexander McQueen SS15

This blog focuses on how much I LOVE Mcqueen this season. Since the designer’s traumatic death and the opening of the V&A savage beauty exhibition, I decided to dig deeper into the new workings of McQueen and what they are now offering.

Many critics argued Sarah Burton wouldn’t do the McQueen fashion line any justice, without his quims and quirks manipulating everything he made… Except, since indulging in the SS15 season clothes, I can’t help but love Burton and the personal flair she is bringing to the label.

After my previous post on Orientalism and the SS15 trend of Asian Fusion, Burton incorporates this with a darker edge (characteristic of the man himself), here are my top picks from McQueen’s new season:

Burton has created one of the best current seasons in trend for SS15, but also developed a line even McQueen himself would be proud of.

My Not So Fair Lady xox

Jan

Black Swan – inspired 21st!

Firstly, apologies for taking some time in writing this blog post, as I know I haven’t written in a few days – but, I was organising my 21st birthday party!

This blog post is a little more personal than my others, but I want the main focus to be on the costume and makeup – not how great my party was (although, it’s safe to say it was pretty awesome!)

So – after seeing Vogue’s top trends and noticing how the “Black swan” fad was quickly approaching this season, I decided to do a little DIY, dig up some inspiration and made my own birthday costume!

All I bought was a black corset and a black tutu, and separately purchased the black diamante’s, feathers and a glue gun (note: get a LOT of glue, because they run out quick).

Step one: Buy a tutu and black corset

Plain black corset and black tutu, found and bought on Ebay for £20

Close up on the back of the corset – nice black lace – just like in the film!

Step two: Ensure you have a glue gun – you can buy one from any convenience store and get a LOT of glue!

For those that don’t know what one looks like! They also get suuuuper hot – so make sure you’re extra careful (or ask for help)

Step three: Buy your diamante’s and feathers!

Diamante’s running loose!

Feather’s needed – I just bought 200 “card feathers” as they come in different shapes and sizes, and make a nice finish to the outfit

OK so now I’m going to talk you through how I did it – but by all means experiment yourselves as I’ve never done textiles nor art so I’m sure a fair few of my readers will be able to create a much better final product!

First, of all, I cut away at the corset so that it gave it the tattered look it needs (especially when you’re black swan!)

As you can see, I just cut away at the edges to give the triangular finish the outfit needs!

By this point however, I’d already attached some of the diamante’s on one of the breasts, whereas the other breast needed feathers (so don’t get carried away and do both!). Although the feathered breast still needs to be jewelled, don’t be tempted to do this before the feathers have been stuck down and dried for you may not get the same final look!

This is a photo taken after I glued on the diamante’s. And also I have feathered part of the left breast to show you where the diamante’s need to be. Although not the final product, you can see the outfit starting to come together.
Tip: When applying the diamante’s with the glue gun, glue your fabric first and then apply the jewel after using tweezers – they are super fiddly!

As it’s drying – keep adding more feathers and jewels where you want them – so you can achieve an overall swan – like look.

With the tutu, I firstly started by just applying feathers to the top of the skirt so that it gave a nice feathered – skirt like texture. It also meant that you couldn’t see anything underneath – because the tutu was cheap – it was also very revealing.

You can see the feathers and the way I started attaching them to the tutu here. A close up will be shown below on the texture it gives!

Close up for texture

And then put the two together – adding more feathers to the left breast where necessary and adding that little bit of detail and diamante’s to the tutu – I found that front right looked the best! And……

Final product – tada!!

Voila! I realise that I perhaps should have done this as a vlog, rather than a word blog but I was too excited at the time to do anything about it!! I’m just glad I remembered to take pictures of the various stages.

Don’t forget to get your makeup done too – I personally recommend NARS who did this masterpiece (making my eyes look amazing!!)

Thank you Leila at NARS for being so good at your job! Amazing work by the makeup artist!

This was the perfect finish to a brilliantly inspired – outfit for my 21st! A close friend’s 21st is also two days after so she also created her white swan outfit – including makeup by NARS too… and here we are!!

Two beautiful outfits and amazing makeup! Plus a crown of course! And gorgeous Kurt Geiger ballet shoes.

Smiles and drinks all round! Cheers to a successful party!

What’s a Black swan inspired party without a beautiful ballet pose:

Make sure that if you do try and create your own, send me a picture!!

Happy Birthday to MEEEEE!!

MNSFL xoxox

Jan

My pick of the top trends for SS15

After indulging in this month’s Vogue, I decided to put together a short blog post to give my readers insight into my top picks for the new season – an insight into my next purchases and the reasoning behind my choices!

Without further ado…

1. Khaki

Khaki catwalk sensations. From left to right: Chanel, Marc Jacobs, Ralph Lauren

I’m actually loving the new Chanel season, not for the clothes pictured above as it seems a little ‘unloved single mum’, but for the fact the fashion house is adopting the new theme of feminist protest. With a profound love and interest in feminist movements, Chanel couldn’t be more spot on with supporting current societal and revolutionary change.

Power to the individual. Empowerment of women.

2. Hippy Deluxe

The 1970s Marrakech inspired ‘Hippy deluxe’ theme comes back this Summer! From left to right: Alberta Ferretti, Etro, Chloé

I recently watched the Yves Saint Laurent film (highly recommend) and was wondering when the Marrakech – inspired couture fashion range was going to make it’s comeback! This look inspired Yves’ greatest work, marking the turning point of his life and career, he actually became one of the richest dead people ever! Quite the achievement. Etro’s kaleidoscope motifs makes for the perfect summer dress – I think I need one of these, for sure.

3. Lace

White lace is a favourite this Summer. Showing bits of skin increases the desire of both the fabric, dress and the lady underneath. From left to right: Valentino, Chloé, Louis Vuitton

Resembling Greek heroines, the models look delicate and desirable in the romantic white lace. The gladiator sandals only serve to emphasise the beauty of the final piece – alongside that breathtaking ethereal lace of course! My bets are on Topshop copying this design in their upcoming season – so those who are more cost – conscious, keep your eyes pealed!

4. Ballerina

Ballerina. Perhaps the best look of the season. From left to right: From left to right: Giorgio Armani, Valentino, Alberta Ferretti

Ballerina. Perhaps the best look of the season. From left to right: Giorgio Armani, Valentino, Alberta Ferretti

This has and always will be my childhood dream – being a ballerina! And not for the dance or their spectacular posture and figures, but the chance to spend 99% of your time in a tutu with a tight top knot seems irresistible to the fashion conscious. Nothing screams more couture like the look of glamorous ballerina – think Natalie Portman in Black Swan!

Natalie Portman in the film Black Swan – looking elegant and long in her white swan outfit and beautifully postured face

So obviously with the new season plie(ing) their way toward the Royal Ballet, I will be adopting the look by investing a replica of Ferretti’s take on the theme! A long tutu is a new season must – have!

5. Night birds

‘Night birds’ shows feathering and fringing on dark fabrics giving that mysterious but elegant chic night time look! From left to right: Proenza Schouler, Fendi, Balenciaga

This is actually a style I would like to say I’ve already mastered – perhaps a little ahead of time but nevertheless. Last month I invested in a short feathered and fringed skirt as featured above by Fendi – the detail and the cut gives you that ‘night time bird’ feel and is perfect with a well designed but simple leotard or black crop-top. The dark fabrics represent the shadows of the night, again evoking those images of the black swan who flees the scene with her strong black wings.

6. The androgynous tailoring

The androgynous look – still going strong! From left to right: Anthony Vaccarello, Maison Martin Margiela, Sonia Rykiel

Absolutely LOVED this look when it first appeared a few years ago and ADORE the fact it’s still going strong. As a girl who picks jeans over skirts and boots over ballet pumps, this trend was a godsend – it gave me an excuse to look androgynous (the way I always kind of have!)

This season however, the emphasis is on the androgynous tailoring – taking the look right back to basics and bringing forward the idea that a woman can look equally as sexy in a masculine suit. To see more of this trend, also (as mentioned earlier) take a closer look at Chanel’s new season working with the feminist phenomenon.

My new season must – haves:

Khaki/ Military boots – Vivienne Westwood Seditionaries (CHECK)
The Etro kaleidoscope – inspired hippie dress
A long tutu skirt – ideally in pastel colours resemblant of the ballerina theme
A feathered/ fringed crop top to sit perfectly with my already bought skirt

Make sure you guys keep an eye on the high – street for whatever replica’s they bring out this season! Just because you don’t have the big names, doesn’t mean you’re not a fashion pioneer!

I’m looking forward to the new season,

My not so fair lady xox

I take no credit for the images featured, these will be found on the British Vogue homepage. For that reason, I hereby certify that they are used solely for the purpose of the blog and I will not be claiming them as my own. To find the article which the photos have been used can be found by clicking on this hyperlink: http://en.vogue.fr/fashion/fashion-inspiration/diaporama/fwpe2015-top-20-trends-for-spring-summer-2015/20647/image/1104399#!pop-art

Jan

Drinks in style

Last night’s celebrations were for Ed’s 22nd – Happy Birthday again! So obviously, a new outfit was in order – even a new jacket. The dress pictured in the photo of me below was from Religion, a smashing new season beauty falls elegantly on any figure. It has been fashioned with a Banana Republic chunky necklace to give it that extra grunge it needed to go from a potential debutante dress to one suitable for a birthday night out in Bath! In other words, it needed to be classy but not restrictive, and most importantly – pretty but never ‘cute’.

Me last night in a Religion dress and Banana Republic necklace. The shoes are courts from Kurt Geiger – KG brand.

Huge studded and weighted necklace, made from metals and stones from Banana Republic. Still available in store now! Perfect for any occasion to sass up your outfits! Cross earrings also shown from couture boutique on the backstreets of London – absolute find!

All smiles ahead! Still in love with the classic white shoe – black toe heels!

Close up of the Kurt Geiger shoes. Perfect for any occasion and the heel low enough to wear comfortably – perfect for that crazy night out or just casual drinks

What’s really great about this dress in particular is the ease of the print. As the fabric isn’t hugely detailed, it doesn’t make accessorising too difficult – instead, the dress can be fashioned with something simple but enables you to add some block colour.

Added casual cardigan/jacket from All Saints with a golden fringe – enabling you to bring in those golden sparkly accessories and bag!

As I was fashioning a religion dress, I decided to add some cliche cross sparkle – studded earrings bought a few years back from a cute boutique on the backstreets of London. They were an absolute bargain and have come in use ever since. Except, I think something that simple would be really easy and cool to make your own – buying standard cross earrings and adding your own diamantes. If you can’t buy it – make it!

Jesus Cross Earrings!

The night was a success and everyone who’s anyone looked stunning. Which leads me to my next point… What do people look like the morning after?

Well, in my opinion if you want to grab your joggers and a cashmere sweater, be my guest! Except, when you’re looking for a hangover cure which goes far beyond paracetamol and junk food, how about trying to ‘train’ your brain that it feels fine..

For example, this morning after the deep sigh of regret for staying out until the early hours of the morning and having to be up and out the house also in the somewhat ‘early hours of the morning’ (9am) – I decided to break my comforting habit of slouch clothes and coffee, and got dressed as if feeling fresh as a daisy!

The morning after

Feeling Westwood inspired, I went for a classic punk rock meets Russian couture look styling ripped jeans and Westwood boots with a Moschino scarf and white fur Russian hat. The pearls were added for couture effect – made famous by my idol Audrey Hepburn, and the red lipstick added to bring the colours out in my scarf and add a bit of umph to the face of someone struggling! The lips are bold enough to allow your eye makeup to be subtle, so today I went for just mascara on top and bottom lashes but with a thick Rimmel 01 red lipstick – perfect for day or night time!

The bag is added to bring some metallic madness to the outfit, and ties in with the overall look of the style

Close up of the bag in all it’s glory – looking bold and fabulous against the overall black of my chosen outfit. Beautifully Italian crafted bags alike to this one from Riparni make any outfit that little bit more special!

And of course it wouldn’t be the same without a close up of these beauties…

Vivienne Westwood Seditionaries boots. New season and available now! High demand, so grab yours soon!

I decided to try this post as a tester, to see if my readers are interested in how I put my day – to – day outfits together! So do comment or message me with your thoughts.

I guess the main moral I want you to take away from this post is:

It doesn’t matter what day or mood you’re in, you have no excuse not to look fabulous!

My not so fair lady xox

Jan

Battle of the Rouge – Will Louboutin reign supreme?

I was just thinking what colour to paint my nails this week, when the guilt – trip feeling of not applying the Louboutin Rouge passed me by. Having worn the polish over the festive period, I was getting a tad bored of the red and it’s never – ending chipping. Yes, that’s right – you heard – the Louboutin Rouge chips… and chips a lot!

The classic Louboutin Rouge in all it’s glory and most fabulous bottle!

You can’t deny that the aesthetic is more than pleasing, in fact it’s revolutionary, quadruple the size of an ordinary nail polish, Louboutin sticks out like a sore thumb, or rather stands tall but sturdy like the very best of stiletto’s. The story however behind the product perhaps contributes to it’s sturdy price of £36/ $50 per polish: Early in his career, the designer famously grabbed some nail polish from an assistant and painted the sole of a shoe he was working on to make it more vibrant. And thus, his signature was born. The Louboutin house lore is noticed throughout the thickness and shine of the shellac. Currently the most expensive nail varnish on the market, I decided to test it against the market leading brands to see if the price is really worth it!

The Louboutin Rouge in the centre, accompanied and tested against Nails Inc Red, OPI Strong Red and Barelle Rouge

Clearly, the ‘wow factor’ is awarded to the Louboutin Rouge, as it reigns supreme aesthetically, but how do the colours differ?

Although the picture seems dark, the only major difference which can be seen is that the Nails Inc sample is a slightly pinker – red than the remaining three. However, what’s most stunning is that there is very little difference between the remaining brands, with a major price difference of £30!!

OPI – the leading market brand shows a solid red in one coat, strong enough to be compared easily to Louboutin Rouge (below).

Louboutin Rouge: solid first coat but not too dissimilar to the OPI sample. Can we really warrant spending so much on the product then?

Without seeming unimpressed with Louboutin’s famous red, the price tag seems a bit heavy for the product in hand. When properly assessing the different colours (much easier when not on a photograph), the Barelle seemed to stand out the most! Bought from the Paris CDG airport last year, the nail polish cost me a mere $4!

My vast nail polish collection, dominated by Barelle, OPI and Nails Inc – all worthy of their price tag… however, I’m not sure Louboutin is – despite it’s beautiful exterior!

I don’t blame anyone wanting to buy a high fashion label and tell all their friends about it, but from one blogger to another, or rather, one fashion lover to the next – save your pennies and invest in a pair of his timeless shoes. Until he reconsiders his price tag, this product is not worth the price he’s making us pay for couture – and most importantly, a couture that chips!

Hope this helps,

My Not So Fair Lady xox

MY NOT SO FAIR LADY

Tag Archives: Beauty